Every so often I catch myself looking at someone else and feeling bad. Like I haven't done enough, or I'm not doing enough right now.
The one that gets me most is technical depth. I remember watching a peer who was always way deeper in the technical details than I had the ability to get, in the code and the architecture and the long threads about how some system works under the hood, and my first reaction is a little guilt. I don't have time to do that. Should I be making the time?
Sometimes maybe. Usually no.
When I actually think it through, the reason I'm not in the weeds is that my role doesn't need me there. My week goes to staffing, planning, unblocking people, one-on-ones, and a lot of conversations nobody else sees. That's the job at the level I'm operating at. If I spent the week in those details, something else would slip, and it would probably be something that matters more to my team or the business.
The person I'm comparing myself to is making trade offs too. If they're spending that much time in the technical weeds, they're spending less time somewhere else, and it might be on the stuff I'm actually good at. Maybe that's the right call for their role and maybe it isn't. I don't know, because all I'm seeing is the one slice of their week that looks impressive from where I'm sitting.
When I compare, I'm putting my whole week, including everything I didn't get to, next to the best part of theirs. I'm going to lose that one every time.
None of this means I'm bad at my job and they're good at theirs. It doesn't mean the opposite either. We're in different roles with different jobs to do, so doing enough looks different for each of us.
So when the feeling shows up I try to ask myself a different question. Am I doing what my role actually needs from me?
If the answer is yes, I let it go.